“The hottest love has the coldest end” – Socrates
Pop culture has been built on love – on finding it, maintaining it, abusing it, idealizing it. On the repercussions of it. So it is not surprising that many patients describe the onset or exacerbation of their illness as starting after a break-up, a divorce, or worse! – unrequited love.
At its best, a broken heart can be used as a tool for self-exploration, self-growth. Sure, wallow in it, throw a temper tantrum, whatever mood should hit. The greatest love stories, songs, movies, and paintings all stem from these underground emotions that we try to avoid, and medicate. I say use it to its full potential – it’s here for a reason. And if it doesn’t find its way out through you actively releasing it, it will find a way out on the physical plain.
Of course, we can’t stay in that zone forever. Many healthy avenues can follow – journaling, self-analysis, self-worth realization and establishment, and mindfulness. Turning your attention to helping others, the giving of the self. I recommend the book “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie, as she takes you through 4 questions that help you question your thoughts, and find the truth of the situation. She states, “if you believe a stressful thought, then you are confused”. All our suffering comes from unquestioned thoughts. Her work also stems from the Zen theology, that what you experience on the outside is simply a reflection of what’s going on inside you.
There are many remedies that can help one through this time of emotional turmoil. There are 3 commonly used homeopathics that work wonders.
“Ignatia” should be used for ailments after grief, after romantic disappointments, desire to avoid crying giving way to sobbing. The ignatia type is romantic and idealistic in all her dealings in the world. Use when the grief is stuck, or lasts excessively, or produces symptoms.
“Natrum Muriaticum” deep grief and sorrow. Silent grief. Ailments from grief and disappointed love. Sad yet unable to weep. Dwells on past griefs.
“Phosphoric Acid” when patient becomes overwhelmed by his loss and is unable to respond. He becomes fatigued and drained. Appears more collapsed than grieving. Indifferent to all external events.
There are also many Bach flower remedies that helps one move through these feelings. http://www.bachflower.com/38_Essences.htm. All these remedies can be found at your local health food store.
I have also seen an elder Naturopath use the energetics from the plant crataegus oxyacantha – Hawthorne, a herb commonly used for heart disease, to literally help those with a broken heart. This shows how the physical is symbolically connected to the emotional.
As with any health issue, it is important to set the intention on wellness, and it will follow. It just takes time. Time does what it does well. If you’re old enough to think back to your first tragically ended love affair, you can see how it was for the best, you got over it, learned so much, and life lead to bigger and better! Hindsight is always 20/20. It’s also important to realize that there are always factors involved that we don’t have insight to – be it the astrological climate, or past-life karma playing itself out, and clearing itself up. Adopting an attitude of acceptance to what comes your way, without judgement, helps to ease any transition. This can open up your whole world beyond this subject. We can’t always see the whole picture, or how this could possibly be in our best interest, but it always is. Meditation, 20 minutes a day, is a great way to keep perspective and focus.
I am currently writing a book called “the Callous Girl’s Guide to a Broken Heart” to help the younger generation of teens develop a thicker skin while travelling through this rite of passage. It is so prominent, and I don’t want to say avoidable, but manageable. Stay tuned!
“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart” – Washington Irving
